I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
