she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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