Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
