I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize