Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
That reminds me...we need to get swords
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
