Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He felt like a one man threesome
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
