How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
