Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
