My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
