Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just threw up on my dentist
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
