East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I need to stop coming to work sober
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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