He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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