Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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