I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
