It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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