Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
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