BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
