If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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