im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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