I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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