turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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