Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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