so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I think my moral compass just broke
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
