that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
