she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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