she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
