Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize