WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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