the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
