So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
