I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
