i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
