Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
