I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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