thus making me awesome and them whores
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
