I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
