I wanna bring you to show and tell
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
