WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
and you fell through a lawn chair
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
