Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she peed on how many people?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We talked him into tasing himself.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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