I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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