Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
