So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
