...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
