Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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