Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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