So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Hippo gnu deer
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
