around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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