I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
