she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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