Having a random hookup so left but love u
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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