hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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