Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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