I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
