i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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