Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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