Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
