I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
