she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
