I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
