I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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