Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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